Body language

Our first impressions of people are for an important part made up from body language. Facial expressions and mimicry, way of moving, laughing, speaking, eye contact: those are all variables which can play an important role in the first click.

Sun inside

Saying of the week:

When you have the sun inside it doesn't matter when it rains outside.

How I DON'T work

Recently, I found this funny little film on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE. The therapist simply says to all the client is bringing up: STOP IT! Could the solution really be that simple?

How to look

The way how we look at things/people is very important. It is great when we can look without immediately Judge. But observing in a non-judgemental way isn't easy. When you tell what you see, often immediately you start to interpret: "I saw him there, sitting lonely in a corner', 'She looked angry because she felt ruffed.'

Sorry!?

The saying 'Don't be ashamed for your mistakes otherwise you turn them into crimes' is from the Chinese philosopher Confucius. Despite this many Asian people think it's very hard to apologize: the fear to make mistakes is deeply rooted in their culture. In the West it looks like if we apologize more easily. We speak even of a sorry culture in politics, which means that apologies are made without tying consequences for behavior unto them.  

It is not difficult to say sorry, but to accept your own mistakes really is. In this lies the real growing pain of the sorry culture. Sorry is the first step, but what counts is to what extent you are able to repair a mistake, to compensate it or to let it lead you to other behaviour in the future. Then an excuse is not an empty offer, but a source of power. Do ask yourself what people expect from you when you are asked for excuses. A genuflection? A solution? Or a reparation? And how big must this reparation be? In almost every situation recognition of what is done to the other is an essential requirement. Directly followed by penance and compensation. Use your mistakes to learn from them. Thus, your mistakes become stepping stones for the future. A way to move forward. Good to know that God is gracious and forgives our mistakes. Yesterday I read in Hebrews 10: 22: "Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience."